Spiritual Remedial School

It was Edward Trappedbythought’s first day at the world renowned Spiritual Remedial School. The school was famous for providing intense one-on-one attention, with the hope that students would knowingly recognize That which they truly are. The head master, a tall stately man known as Hewithoutaname, was reading Ed’s lengthy record. “It’s recorded here,” said Hewithoutaname as he approached Ed, “that you’ve been taking this whole human story just a little bit too seriously. Is that so?”

“Guilty as charged,” replied Ed, as his hands wrestled each other.

“Well, we can’t have that, can we?”

“No, guess not,” said Ed.

“You guess,” said Hewithoutaname, raising an eyebrow, “or you know?”

“Pardon, Sir, of course; I know.” Although Ed was middle aged, he suddenly felt as though he was five years old.

“At SRS, we have a strict three-strike policy. Do you know what that means?”

“Kinda,” muttered Ed, his face flushing. “I think it means if I get three three incorrect answers that I’m immediately expelled.”

“Well, you’re off to a good start. It seems you’ve done your homework. So let’s get straight to it. You’ll be given ten seconds to respond yay, nay, or with a full length answer that’s clearly audible. Do you understand?

“Yes,” said Ed nervously. A sheen had appeared on Ed’s forehead, threatening to rain sweat off his eyebrows.

Holding a timer in his hand, Hewithoutaname momentarily said, “First exam beings NOW:”

***

Head Master: “I am my body.”

Ed (nervously shifting in his chair, glancing at cheat notes scribbled in his palm….10, 9, 8, 7,): “Yay?

Head Master: “Buzzz–strike one! Pitty, had such high hopes for you.”

Ed: “So sorry.”

Head Master: “No talking.”

Ed: (nodds humbly).

Head Master: “I am my mind.”

Ed (eyebrows alternately raising, searching for answers on the ceiling…6, 5, 4,): Yay?

Head Master: “Strike two! Oh, dear my, this is worse than your record reflects.”

Ed: (close to fainting, with a pale give-me-a-chance expession on his face).

Head Master: “Okay, one last chance. Spell Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj’s birthname backwards, in his native language of Marathi.”

Ed (blank stare, drool coming from the corner of his mouth…4, 3, 2, 1, 0,): No answer.

Head Master: “And that’s strike three! Just kidding! Here at SRS, we’re famous for having a wicked sense of humor–guffaw, guffaw. But more importantly, we’re known for our unconditional LOVE. We’re going to give you a second chance! Tomorrow we’ll get started with a sixteen-hour meditation period, beginning at 4:00 A.M. Just so you know, no bathroom breaks permitted; so you might be advised to go easy on the fluids before bed. See you in the morning!

Dare to dream (and care for one another).

With heartfelt regards,

Art

P.S. Please share this article if you enjoyed it. If you’d like to view my latest book (This Taste of Flesh and Bones–released September 8, 2020), press here. My YouTube videos may be found through this link. May the content of either or both help you along your spiritual journey. 🙏🧡

“Thank You” & “Note to Publishers”