What Are You Telling Yourself?

So, you’re running late for an appointment, and you’re ready to leave your home when you realize that you’ve misplaced the keys to your car. If you’re like the majority of people, you’ll begin a mad search; looking on the top of your dresser, the key holder at the entrance to your home, or your purse or pockets. As the minutes tick by–and you feel the mounting pressure to leave–there will most likely be an interior dialogue squawking in the background of your mind.

In most cases, the habitual dialogue of your thoughts might sound like the following:

  • “Oh, God, I’m never going to find these keys!”
  • “I’m going to be late; I just know it!”
  • “I don’t have time for this nonsense!”
  • “I can’t see them! Why can’t I see them?”
  • “This is just like me! I’m so stupid!
  • “Today of all days!”

If any of that dialogue sounds familiar–as though you might at some point have told yourself something similar–you are not alone. The vast majority of people might let their mind behave in such a manner. Is that dialogue harmless? Hardly…and here’s why:

What we are habitually telling ourselves is a reflection of our inner thoughts. Those inner thoughts–as Louise Hay, of HayHouse Publishing would tell us–are creating our future. In effect, we’re programming ourselves in much the way that a computer is programmed. There’s an age-old phrase in the computing world, familiar to many: Garbage in; garbage out. It means that the success of the computer systerm will only be as good as what was programmed into it. Humans are no different!

How the above dialogue actually brings an effect in our real world is simple. For every time that we tell ourselves “I can’t find my keys!” we’re actually programming the mind not to alert us to the keys even if our eyes have actually seen them! A little proof of the above, which many may have experienced, is when someone–perhaps a spouse or partner, who wishes to assist us in our search–proceeds to look in the very same drawer or coat pocket that we have just searched. Exasperated, we tell him/her that we’ve already looked there, only to have the person triumphantly shout that he/she found the keys…in the exact place had already searched!

Why could this actually happen so often? The answer–which I cannot prove–is actually simple to understand. The spouse/partner is using a different program, one with very different dialogue playing in the background. In fact, the person may take great delight in finding something that we could not find. Chances are the helper was telling him-her/self: “I know I can find those keys; I know I can,” or something similar.

The lesson here is that we, too, can change our programming, by consciously making the effort to do so. The good news is that we can apply this programming in ways that will be beneficial to us in every aspect of our life. It doesn’t take a genius to realize the difference that positive internal dialogue could make regarding a business we’re starting, a weight loss program, an exercise plan, or a new skill that we’re trying to master.

What we’re telling ourselves matters, literally; for what we tell ourselves manifests as the matter (circumstances and situations) in our environment. Mystical? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. The theory might be worth putting to a test the next time you misplace your keys. Just try telling yourself something positive.

Dare to dream (and care for one another).

With heartfelt regards,


Copyright © – 2020 – R. Arthur Russell

P.S. Please share this article if you enjoyed it. If you’d like to view my latest book (This Taste of Flesh and Bones–released September 8, 2020), press here. May it help you in your spiritual journey. 🙏🙏

Thank You” & “Note to Publishers

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